President Donald J. Trump announced yesterday that firebrand conspiracy theorist and radio host, Alex Jones would be taking over from the departing Sean Spicer as White House Press Secretary.
Alex took little time before gathering the huddled press corp for his inaugural press conference shortly after the announcement.
“The REAL PATRIOTS are taking over from you pack of lying WEASELS!” he bellowed at the now visibly frightened reporters.
“We’re comin’ for ya globalists! 1776 will commence, you wicked, wicked devils!”
Alex seemed to visibly calm after this short tirade before shutting down any questions quickly before holding up a bottle of SUPER MALE VITALITY and telling the assembled corp how the carefully formulated InfoWars concoction can make you in to a virile specimen just like him.
Alex then became spooked by something before tearing his shirt off and rampaging out of the building beating his chest like a rabid gorilla.